I haven't updated in a really long time for all sorts of reasons ... but basically being busy ...
Anyway. Had the concerto competition earlier ... I lost it (2 contestants, I came in 2nd) ... I was playing the Elgar Concerto (1st mov.) ... something I've been working on for almost a year and a half ... later I was talking with somebody, and basically the following came out: "I hate when I don't reach my full potential in anything ... and in 4 years here, I haven't really ever reached my full potential ... I don't have enough time to practice, and it's a cyclical thing" ...
It's really frustrating & really true ... I'm still not where I should be & that piece wasn't up to the basic level (it was close though) ... I'm still not making mind-blowing progress like I used to & I still don't have real callouses like I used to ... So I've got to change for good. I'm promising myself that on all weekends, I'm going to practice 3 hours every day ... every other day, I've got to practice 2, and wednesday will be my day off (b/c I have orchestra that day anyway, and it's just impossible to practice w/out waking up at about 6:00 AM ... but I need to do more if I'm ever going to make it or amount to anything on cello ...
The End.
PS. I don't mean to say I'm sore about the results of the competition ... I'm not ... I'm just pissed at myself for not being better and not being the best I can yet again... the other person in the competition did a great, amazing job w/ some really awesome pieces (Grieg Piano Concerto & Slow movement from the Pathetique ... can't go wrong w/ that shit!!) ... she deserves it & I'm sure it's gonna be an amazing performance!
