I only wished...

I only wished
To become something beautiful
Through my music
Through my silent devotion
-Nightwish

I had a wish granted tonight... I saw Nightwish for the 3rd time. It was quite an amazing set, though the balance was off, and the band has quite a bit of room for growth (in a really good way). They have a new live chemistry that they didn't have previously and their new material is absolutely amazing!!

It made me think back on Nightwish and their music & the connection/impact it's had on my life... and more recently, my separation from it... maybe not separation, but I feel like I'm losing creativity b/c I don't have room to breathe (largely due to taking so many music classes & working so hard at cello). But it reminded me about what I love about music & why I do it. Plus, yet again, I have another influence pushing me to want to work in some kind of band environment... I just don't know what to do about that ... I feel much more comfortable on keys than cello for something like that, but I enjoy playing cello more (usually...) & of the 2, it almost seems like I'm destined to play the cello... I just need to figure out how to incorporate that into a band environment...

In other news, I have my recital in 2 days - it will be a great relief when it's over... I've grown so much in preparing for it, though I've also become more aware of my shortcomings and I've learned a lot about what to do to prepare for a concert & how not to promote it ... the program is as follows:

Bach Suites 1 & 2
Intermission
Duets for Double Bass/Clarinet by Hindemith
It Takes Two by Jen Castellano
War of the 2 Tribes by *Me*
Life Song by Robben Ford

Everything is in great shape, except Life Song, which has been quite a challenge, since it's a guitar part that I'm learning on cello... I'm worried that I'm not gonna get the rest of it in like the random hour or two of spare time I have on friday... but hey, whatever happens, happens..> I get the form/harmony of it, so I can fake/improv parts if need be...

Also, I give my first cello lesson on sunday, which I'm extremely happy & nervous about
... should be really interesting to meet my first student... I'm so worried I'm not gonna know how or what to teach though, even though i've done some before... ... I suspect this will go away when I'm actually in the lesson... I have a natural thing fro teaching.. in the same way I do for performing (which is not to say that both skills don't need to be further developed, b/c they definitely do!!)


Musical Goals for the near future:
1. Learn more guitar-oriented music on cello, starting with Nightwish. Analyze the Form/Harmony as much as possible
2. Put more time into Piano/keyboard
3. Improv my bow technique substantially, so that I can delve even further into the music I'm working on
4. Write more music

In other cool news, I've had a multi-FX pedal & a synthesizer passed on to me... damn is that cool!! I've only played with the synth twice now, but it's so exciting!! (it's a very old casio...). I'm going to learn more about it/synthesis in general when I get a chance... looking forward to december break, b/c I'm going to do a lot of musical exploration over it!!

So that's it for now... can't wait for this weekend to finish & to start working on new music... I'm already thinking about next year's recital and have so many different ideas in mind...