I feel like I've betrayed the things that are truly important to me and put up false gods in their place ...
I've replaced creative and being progressive and exploring new creative boundaries musically and technically with fitting into a model and playing a certain way and becoming popular/making my music popular ... and those are all good things ... particularly trying to play well ...
But sometimes you just need to let go of all of that & just pour out your soul onto the cello or the keyboard and just create and not put yourself in a box of musical and social protocol ... classical music is awful for that ... rock music can be too ... but improvising and writing ... there's no rules for that - except the ones I want to follow ...
I just jammed out some pretty cool keyboard riffs for the first time in longer than I can remember & it felt soo great ... (to be fair, had I not been doing all the technical work, this wouldn't have been possible)
I've also started rereading my blog from the beginning, because as I wrote to somebody else (who was talking about a musical god) ... I still have my gods, but I've lost my religion ... so I'm going back to my gods.
There were other times when I was learning more and progressing more (even though I play the cello betteer now than I've ever played it in my life) & really expanding my mind more ... and thankfully I've written a lot of it down ... I've chronicled a lot of the inspiration and experience ... I'm not stopping until I've gotten it all back .
That's all for now ...
(oh, the title is a quote from Tuomas Holopainen)
1 comment:
"I've replaced creative and being progressive and exploring new creative boundaries musically and technically with fitting into a model and playing a certain way and becoming popular/making my music popular ... and those are all good things ... particularly trying to play well ..."
I am glad you have come to that realization. That sort of thought was what made me not want to do music professionally or study it in school. I never wanted to fit a mold. I think it is a wonderful thing to seriously draw the line and know that it is time to stop fucking around and do what you want to do in a musical sense. It's great to break all the rules that were ever put up because in reality, rules are non existant, hence they are made to be broken... Well that's one way I look at it. Not to say rules don't have their place, but at some point if you want to continue to progress you gotta break em. Despite wanting popularity, to make a living off music, to become known, to make an impact, it is always important to be yourself.
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