I mentioned in my last post that there had been some success in addition to the failures ... perhaps the most significant effect of that success has been finding a new sense of Humility.
I need to clarify, I DO NOT MEAN SELF-DEPRECATION or any other similar destructive thinking.
I just mean that I've got a better sense of where I fit ... I've met/befriended/been complimented by people who are better than me, who I admire... I've met cellists my age or younger who are better ... I've met cellists who are worse. I've had some more success as a performer & like everything else in life, the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know.
That humility is enabling me to grow (as a person and as a cellist). I've also gained self-confidence to go along with it & some level of security that I didn't have before.
It's cool :)