I don't remember the last time I was under so much pressure/stress/fear. The last 2 months have been something of a nightmare in that sense. This almost all boils down to financial stress - I stopped driving taxis & was left with teaching as my only income - which seemed ok, but then I got some unexpected bills & it's just sorta set all the wheels of questioning & emotional turmoil in motion.
Now, I've added a new level to things. I started looking into Grad school audition requirements. There is basically 1 teacher I want to study with (that's Julia Lichten), which leaves me with two schools I'm applying to - SUNY Purchase & Manhattan School of Music. As of right now, I have zero confidence that I'm going to get in to either. I really just don't think it looks possible, and that's scary. But, that fear is really pushing me to practice and play seriously in a way that I've never done before & I'm starting to see the improvements already.
Despite the improvements though, this has been one of the most confusing and frustrating times in my life. I don't have a teacher, and consequently am struggling to give myself a direction & choose audition pieces & technical exercises and all that. Now add a timetable into this. Purchase pre-screens their auditions (I think MSM does too) & I have to have a cd ready by January 1st - Fuck! I seriously dropped the ball on this. I should have been preparing for this since Summit, working the way I am now. Looking back on things, I've dropped the ball with cello and practicing so many times already, I'm lucky to be where I am.
I also started looking at competitions and stuff like that & I realized how much I dropped the ball with even having the opportunity to do something like that (which ultimately I think is ok in the long run). I'm not really looking to do a traditional classical career, but having the option of entering these things would have been a good thing.
But, that's only 1 part of the whole picture of the last few months. I've been really busy with a lot of things. First of all, I bought the book "Beyond Talent: Creating a Successful Career in Music" by Angela Myles Beeching. What an amazingly helpful, practical and well-written book. I've been learning from that & am getting some good ideas for building my music career from it. But, that of course takes time.
One thing I've started (as of 2 weeks ago) is writing a solo cello album. This kind of just clicked as something I needed to do. I was thinking about the things I'm good at & what I like to do, and thinking about improvisation & realized that I could make a bunch of improv. tracks to sell on Snocap (Myspace's music store). While that idea then turned into "hey, I'm going to write my own album", I'm still very partial to the idea of recording an improv track once a week and selling it on myspace. It's the type of thing that I don't really expect a lot of money to come out of, but maybe some would here & there & at the very least, it makes it look like I have something more to offer as an artist (there are some great examples in Beeching's book about CDs/Demos being used to further peoples' careers despite not paying for themselves in sales).
Which brings me to the next thing I'm planning to develop. Well things: 2 workshops. First, I'm going to develop a Youtube Improvisation series, which I can also make workshops out of. Next, I'm going to develop a Career Advice for Classical Musicians series, which will draw on my experience from the next two years & well everything after that. Beeching's book mentioned that people booking classical shows often are more likely to book artists offering workshops/lectures/etc.
Which brings me to a weak spot of mine: Prepared concert rep. This is getting solved right now by the following: I have to put together a Beethoven Quartet movement for Nov. 22, I have to prepare for Grad. auditions, I will be playing in a Piano Trio at the New Rochelle Public Library in the spring & I will most likely be playing at Beth El at a currently undetermined date in February. This is causing me to really work on all of this repertoire & actually have pieces prepared so that I can put concerts together. Also, I'm realizing that putting together this type of concert is so different than putting together a recital at school - much less academic/pedagogical & much more about the audience.
One of the big things holding me back right now from a career perspective is that I don't know where I can get booked for paying gigs/concerts or how or who to get in touch with. Slowly, but surely, I'm learning all of this & gaining new information bit by bit. I'm also planning to record Pejoratively Yours material in the near future & start marketing that to various clubs & whatever else I can.
So I have a lot of the big plans set up ... I just don't know how I'm going to pay my bills right now. Here are my current options:
1. Work at Barnes & Noble again as a seasonal employee - this is beginning to look tempting
2. Work at taxis - this is the last thing I want to do. I can be non-committal and only work 1 day a week & while that freedom's nice, I also will be lazy about working & thus not earn money. Plus, it's not the social circle I want to expand into.
3. Extra work - I keep seeing this advertised on Craigslist & am seriously considering it ... I could make somewhere around $100 a day or maybe more doing this & that sounds very worth it, even if it probably means giving up my whole day.
4. Temp Agency - this was recommended to me & I just don't know anything about getting involved with one, but am considering it
5. Find some kind of regular paying gig - like a church job. This is exactly the thing I don't know how to look for. Every church is looking for an organist/pianist & my piano skills are just not there.
6. Get 1-3 more students. - this is ideal & part of what's holding me back from doing this has been being lazy/not having much time & even if I put the work in, there's no telling how long it will take to get more students, not to mention that teaching can be a bit inconsistent (with students cancelling). I also would really like to find my own teaching space (I can use my apartment now, but honestly, it's a gross mess & I'd feel so much more professional in a set space somewhere).
7. Get a part time teaching gig - I would *love* this, but there just doesn't seem to be a lot out there & I haven't gotten a response from the little I've replied to. There does seem to be a lot of "In Home Lessons" & I would honestly really like to get out of that rather than get further into it, because it just does not pay as well & eats up a chunk of my time & always involves logging lessons, which is just frustrating.
Other recent activities include:
Playing shows with December's Fall - always fun
Creating a mailing list (if you'd like to be included on this, just email me your email at mluna87@gmail.com)
Topsy Turvy Loves - a 3 wk off-off broadway musical (this merits a whole journal entry by itself & may get one if I can find the time, though I may also have to wait until the production ends this saturday.)
Brigadoon - A 1 wk. musical with Blue Hill Troupe that I'm doing at the end of the month
Current Regular activities include:
Sound Shore Chorale
St. Thomas Orchestra
Teaching
Practicing
Writing 1 tune a week (2 completed so far)
Alright ... that's just a slice of the pie so far, but all I'm gonna write for this moment.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Music is 90% Mental & 10% Physical
Or another way of saying the title is that there are two types of technique - mental & physical. The physical side of practicing could basically be compared to weight-lifting - you need a certain minimum physical strength & dexterity in order to to play the instrument - things like finger independence, finger speed, being able to produce a loud sound, proper posture. Those things are incredibly important. The rest is mental. One must first have a concept of what they want something to sound like (whether you do that through visual, textural, aural adjectives/metaphors, doesn't matter - you just have to have some goal) & then the rest of practice becomes about 2 things: trying to create that sound & trying to find the least demanding (most-tension free) way of consistently doing it.
That revelation/realization seems incredibly significant and fundamental to me at this point and addresses progression on any instrument. You can do all the technique in the world, but it has to have a purpose.
One thing I've noticed is that a lot of musicians tend to discount other musicians who can play very fast ... I think this is pointless - it is simply one aspect of technique (and an important one)
On another note, a musician friend recently pointed out to me that English has very little adjectives to describe sound, and consequently, we use a lot of visual imagery - I thought that was an interesting point.
I'd write more, but I think that hits the heart of it, and I'm not feeling so well at the moment...
That revelation/realization seems incredibly significant and fundamental to me at this point and addresses progression on any instrument. You can do all the technique in the world, but it has to have a purpose.
One thing I've noticed is that a lot of musicians tend to discount other musicians who can play very fast ... I think this is pointless - it is simply one aspect of technique (and an important one)
On another note, a musician friend recently pointed out to me that English has very little adjectives to describe sound, and consequently, we use a lot of visual imagery - I thought that was an interesting point.
I'd write more, but I think that hits the heart of it, and I'm not feeling so well at the moment...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Recent Happenings
So, I still haven't had a chance to type up Post-Summit Reflections or masterclass notes or stuff like that ... hopefully I will ...
A ton has happened since then:
1. I quit Soapbox Army to focus more on classical studies
2. Manhattanville College informed me that I needed to return my cello by the end of the month
3. I managed to get a very nice cello to play on for the next few weeks, courtesy of Bernie Tamosaitis - I may eventually buy this cello, but it would likely be in the distant future
4. I'm doing Copland's Appalachian Spring for 13 instruments on 2 rehearsal (had the first one last night) - it's cool. This gig's in Danbury - quite a drive!
5. I'm going to be doing both an Off-Broadway musical & an Opera - this will be good playing & career-wise & also a good test of my abilities
I played for Bernie earlier - it was very helpful. In general I need to:
-Emphasize notes less
-lighten up w/ my bow strokes
-create the sound w/ the bow & not the left hand
-lighten up before shifting
-think more about style & practice slowly
-practice technique w/ specific intents/make exercises out of things
-analyze for excess tension & find the easiest ways to play things
I got to play on a couple of different cellos of his - it was very cool to see how they all respond differently & have different characters - he seems to know a good deal about the worksmanship and history of them, which is great, because I don't really know much of that.
Anyway, so I got some really great advice & experience from it, and I have this church gig in the morning that involves improv'ing over really simple chord changes
I'm thinking of starting a set of "How to Improvise" vids. on youtube - I think it would be helpful for folks who are interested & might help a little in getting my name out as a teacher - I need to send flyers/resumes out to school teachers soon ...
Anyway, sleepytime ...
A ton has happened since then:
1. I quit Soapbox Army to focus more on classical studies
2. Manhattanville College informed me that I needed to return my cello by the end of the month
3. I managed to get a very nice cello to play on for the next few weeks, courtesy of Bernie Tamosaitis - I may eventually buy this cello, but it would likely be in the distant future
4. I'm doing Copland's Appalachian Spring for 13 instruments on 2 rehearsal (had the first one last night) - it's cool. This gig's in Danbury - quite a drive!
5. I'm going to be doing both an Off-Broadway musical & an Opera - this will be good playing & career-wise & also a good test of my abilities
I played for Bernie earlier - it was very helpful. In general I need to:
-Emphasize notes less
-lighten up w/ my bow strokes
-create the sound w/ the bow & not the left hand
-lighten up before shifting
-think more about style & practice slowly
-practice technique w/ specific intents/make exercises out of things
-analyze for excess tension & find the easiest ways to play things
I got to play on a couple of different cellos of his - it was very cool to see how they all respond differently & have different characters - he seems to know a good deal about the worksmanship and history of them, which is great, because I don't really know much of that.
Anyway, so I got some really great advice & experience from it, and I have this church gig in the morning that involves improv'ing over really simple chord changes
I'm thinking of starting a set of "How to Improvise" vids. on youtube - I think it would be helpful for folks who are interested & might help a little in getting my name out as a teacher - I need to send flyers/resumes out to school teachers soon ...
Anyway, sleepytime ...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Performance
Played the Brahms Trio earlier ... it went ok ... it had good moments & not good moments ... the concert was poorly scheduled (15 minutes after orchestra), so I didn't get a chance to run to the bathroom or eat or do any of my usual pre-stage rituals/routines ... so all in all, it went ok ...
Just, I'm really sick of performing pieces in a half-assed kind of way ... Nothing I've played on any performance has really been up to standard & I've never really been in control of it & fully making music out of all of it ... this needs to change ... from now on, I need to really have a piece down long before I'm going to perform it & be more than comfortable with it. The main thing that needs to happen is that my learning curve & planning need to be steeper in the early stages of work .. and I need more time of course.
Orchestra later ... gonna be lazy for a bit ...
Just, I'm really sick of performing pieces in a half-assed kind of way ... Nothing I've played on any performance has really been up to standard & I've never really been in control of it & fully making music out of all of it ... this needs to change ... from now on, I need to really have a piece down long before I'm going to perform it & be more than comfortable with it. The main thing that needs to happen is that my learning curve & planning need to be steeper in the early stages of work .. and I need more time of course.
Orchestra later ... gonna be lazy for a bit ...
More differences
Soloists always have an incredibly thorough definition of the piece they are playing, both in terms of musical structure & in terms of the technical means to realize that interpretation.
They also have a holistic awareness of the composer's life, cello, theory (well, not always), the score, history & everything else. They have thought deeply about these things and have applied them to the piece.
-----
Today I noticed:
1. I am often not breathing during my chamber piece.
2. I was not using my shoulder blades in my bowing, which meant I wasn't making circles w/ my shoulders or opening them up.
3. I'm often not holding the string all the way down with my left hand ...
These were all useful realizations.
-----
In other news, I got to see Alma play twice today ...
First, in a masterclass ... As if the fact that she plays incredibly well weren't enough, she also picks things up incredibly fast ... I forget what she was playing at this point ... I think maybe some Liszt thing ...
Second, in the chamber concert as part of the Trout Quintet. ... Um, Wow!! First of all, it was so great to see that piece live & performed by other students. They all did an amazing job .... Alma in particular had the whole score memorized & did an incredible job of playing what is essentially always a 2 voice part (it's practically written as if it's two instruments really). There was this perfect clarity between the voices, and you could always hear them both.
Her playing is really inspiring & I can't wait till I've developed my mind and technique to a point where it's that focused ...
I'm getting a lot more analytical about practicing in general, and have decided that I'm going to devote the first half hour of my practice every day to basic fundamental & kinesthetic work & making sure that all of that is really-well set & reinforce ... so the first hour will be a bit of an exploration really ...
I've improved so much in the really short time since my lesson yesterday, and it's really encouraging (but also makes me want to practice more, so I can improve more!)
I need to go to sleep now ... two concerts tomorrow!
Edit: We had a bit of a Jam session afterwards, though it turned into a read Jazz Charts session after a bit, which is much less fun ... Sytske knows all sorts of cool fiddle stuff ... I really need to catch up on that!
Also, there were some other really cool pieces at the concert & lots of other stuff/people I want to write about ... I'll probably spend all my free time thursday practicing & writing up all the things I didn't have time for ...
They also have a holistic awareness of the composer's life, cello, theory (well, not always), the score, history & everything else. They have thought deeply about these things and have applied them to the piece.
-----
Today I noticed:
1. I am often not breathing during my chamber piece.
2. I was not using my shoulder blades in my bowing, which meant I wasn't making circles w/ my shoulders or opening them up.
3. I'm often not holding the string all the way down with my left hand ...
These were all useful realizations.
-----
In other news, I got to see Alma play twice today ...
First, in a masterclass ... As if the fact that she plays incredibly well weren't enough, she also picks things up incredibly fast ... I forget what she was playing at this point ... I think maybe some Liszt thing ...
Second, in the chamber concert as part of the Trout Quintet. ... Um, Wow!! First of all, it was so great to see that piece live & performed by other students. They all did an amazing job .... Alma in particular had the whole score memorized & did an incredible job of playing what is essentially always a 2 voice part (it's practically written as if it's two instruments really). There was this perfect clarity between the voices, and you could always hear them both.
Her playing is really inspiring & I can't wait till I've developed my mind and technique to a point where it's that focused ...
I'm getting a lot more analytical about practicing in general, and have decided that I'm going to devote the first half hour of my practice every day to basic fundamental & kinesthetic work & making sure that all of that is really-well set & reinforce ... so the first hour will be a bit of an exploration really ...
I've improved so much in the really short time since my lesson yesterday, and it's really encouraging (but also makes me want to practice more, so I can improve more!)
I need to go to sleep now ... two concerts tomorrow!
Edit: We had a bit of a Jam session afterwards, though it turned into a read Jazz Charts session after a bit, which is much less fun ... Sytske knows all sorts of cool fiddle stuff ... I really need to catch up on that!
Also, there were some other really cool pieces at the concert & lots of other stuff/people I want to write about ... I'll probably spend all my free time thursday practicing & writing up all the things I didn't have time for ...
Monday, August 10, 2009
So about that classical stuff
I realized that there are two pretty significant difference between really amazing players/soloists & the rest of us:
1. Volume/Tone - The really great players have a tremendously large sound
2. Clarity - The really great players have incredibly clear technique & musical expression ... every note is connected to the others & does specifically what they want.
I've noticed the two are related ... if you play with a really big sound, you build more muscles & everything becomes clearer ... and that's the final missing piece between where I was before & where I am now ... well that plus the constant immersion in music & analysis, which I'm really getting back into.
The other thing I realized is that every practice sessions needs to be a really intense lesson (self-taught), where I'm giving myself constant criticism/instructions on how to do better ... words like ... basically taking a really intense lesson/coaching & making myself the coach & holding myself to the highest standard. I've been progressing a lot, but I'm still so far behind, so I need to push even harder ... I'm really looking forward to being done w/ Summit so I can really focus on the things I need to & dive in to some analysis, while doing 3 hours of technique every day.
I've also realized that I know a whole total of zero concertos (well, I've actually learned 1 - the Vivaldi Double Concerto, but I can't just whip that out) ... So, my next piece goal once summit is over is to learn the whole Haydn C really well & then to move on to something else ... all the while, I'll be really working on technique, and improving on that end, so I'll actually play something well instead of mediocre for once.
This last realization was prompted by the concerto competition, which was really inspiring to watch, because it really hit me over the head with how much basic stuff I haven't done yet.
My goal for next year (assuming I do Summit) is to have learned at least 1 concerto very well (so I can enter the competition) & to be at a point technically where the orchestra music is not beyond me at the beginning. I'm still struggling to play all the notes/play it really well ... though nowhere near as much as last year.
I also realized that I need to do a technical analysis of pieces from now on & make sure my technical development matches what I need to know in order to play the piece.
I've designed a technique routine, which I'm tweaking a little bit right now ... After Summit, I'll write it up.
Sleep time now...
1. Volume/Tone - The really great players have a tremendously large sound
2. Clarity - The really great players have incredibly clear technique & musical expression ... every note is connected to the others & does specifically what they want.
I've noticed the two are related ... if you play with a really big sound, you build more muscles & everything becomes clearer ... and that's the final missing piece between where I was before & where I am now ... well that plus the constant immersion in music & analysis, which I'm really getting back into.
The other thing I realized is that every practice sessions needs to be a really intense lesson (self-taught), where I'm giving myself constant criticism/instructions on how to do better ... words like ... basically taking a really intense lesson/coaching & making myself the coach & holding myself to the highest standard. I've been progressing a lot, but I'm still so far behind, so I need to push even harder ... I'm really looking forward to being done w/ Summit so I can really focus on the things I need to & dive in to some analysis, while doing 3 hours of technique every day.
I've also realized that I know a whole total of zero concertos (well, I've actually learned 1 - the Vivaldi Double Concerto, but I can't just whip that out) ... So, my next piece goal once summit is over is to learn the whole Haydn C really well & then to move on to something else ... all the while, I'll be really working on technique, and improving on that end, so I'll actually play something well instead of mediocre for once.
This last realization was prompted by the concerto competition, which was really inspiring to watch, because it really hit me over the head with how much basic stuff I haven't done yet.
My goal for next year (assuming I do Summit) is to have learned at least 1 concerto very well (so I can enter the competition) & to be at a point technically where the orchestra music is not beyond me at the beginning. I'm still struggling to play all the notes/play it really well ... though nowhere near as much as last year.
I also realized that I need to do a technical analysis of pieces from now on & make sure my technical development matches what I need to know in order to play the piece.
I've designed a technique routine, which I'm tweaking a little bit right now ... After Summit, I'll write it up.
Sleep time now...
Dream Theater & Zappa Plays Zappa
I just got back from an absolutely amazing concert (so refreshing!)
I missed the first two bands of Progressive Nation 09, but did get to see Zappa Plays Zappa & Dream Theater ... Zappa was beyond incredible ... first of all, there was this girl in the band playing Flute, Saxes, Keys & Singing ... A Drummer, A percussionist, Dweedle (sp?) & another guitar & bassist. Second, the giant variety of musical styles within their music is all kinds of awesome ... It really blew me away .. I can't believe how much I've been missing not having listened to them.
Dream Theater was great ... they've improved tremendously as a live band since I last saw them ... full of energy & doing a lot of great musical things w/ a well put together set-list & great transitions ... lots of jamming this time. They're so inspirational technically, but also as composers because of what they do w/ form/orchestration ... so amazing to watch & listen to.
I'm really glad to have gone to that concert, though I wish I had gotten to see Scale the Summit & BigElf ... oh well, I did get a Porcupine Tree sticker for my cello case! It's yet another affirmation for me of how much better progressive rock & heavy metal are than classical. I say better because there is more in them and they are so much more interesting & developed & have so much more sounds. And in terms of presentation there is so much more to experience at a concert ... it's a multi-media thing that really encompasses so many different areas, where as classical is this really narrow kind of setting, and while it's really expressive within its area ... we're still talking about a small area. Also, classical music was groundbreaking & transforming 200 years ago ... we've moved so far forward since then.
That being said, I'm planning to do some hardcore analysis/score reading of both Dream Theater & Classical stuff (starting w/ Bach/Mozart/Beethoven piano stuff).
There's some more I want to write, but now is not the time...
I missed the first two bands of Progressive Nation 09, but did get to see Zappa Plays Zappa & Dream Theater ... Zappa was beyond incredible ... first of all, there was this girl in the band playing Flute, Saxes, Keys & Singing ... A Drummer, A percussionist, Dweedle (sp?) & another guitar & bassist. Second, the giant variety of musical styles within their music is all kinds of awesome ... It really blew me away .. I can't believe how much I've been missing not having listened to them.
Dream Theater was great ... they've improved tremendously as a live band since I last saw them ... full of energy & doing a lot of great musical things w/ a well put together set-list & great transitions ... lots of jamming this time. They're so inspirational technically, but also as composers because of what they do w/ form/orchestration ... so amazing to watch & listen to.
I'm really glad to have gone to that concert, though I wish I had gotten to see Scale the Summit & BigElf ... oh well, I did get a Porcupine Tree sticker for my cello case! It's yet another affirmation for me of how much better progressive rock & heavy metal are than classical. I say better because there is more in them and they are so much more interesting & developed & have so much more sounds. And in terms of presentation there is so much more to experience at a concert ... it's a multi-media thing that really encompasses so many different areas, where as classical is this really narrow kind of setting, and while it's really expressive within its area ... we're still talking about a small area. Also, classical music was groundbreaking & transforming 200 years ago ... we've moved so far forward since then.
That being said, I'm planning to do some hardcore analysis/score reading of both Dream Theater & Classical stuff (starting w/ Bach/Mozart/Beethoven piano stuff).
There's some more I want to write, but now is not the time...
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