I don't know where I belong, or where do I go from here

Actually, I do know where I belong - I belong right here, doing what I'm doing.

Things gave changed a lot over the last year or so.  I think the biggest difference is that so many of my emotional and psychological needs are met now.  This applies to cello as well, the underlying layer of "this needs to be ok, and then everything else will work" is there. 

This in part caused me to blog a lot less (the other things that caused me to blog a lot less were having an active professional life, an active social life, spending a lot of time on facebook/twitter/okcupid, needing to be careful about what I wrote in public).  I think really though, the biggest factor is that the cello stopped being a big mystery to me.  I know how to play it, I can do it fairly well and meaningfully.  If something does not go well these days, it's not because there's some fundamental aspect of playing that's holding me back, it's simply because I didn't practice enough.

As a person I've grown tremendously more secure and am becoming more empowered.  It's as if I spent years planting seeds, and finally the crops bloom, and I took in some time to eat and be wholesome.

Now it is time to plant seeds again.  A commencement speech I watched recently mentioned that we confuse accolades with achievement, and the honest truth is I've done this a lot in the last year, and I've settled for less than my best.  We have a word for this - coasting.  I know that true success is only going to come from always growing and always learning and always accepting that I can do better.  I'm ready to start that again.

So the question is in what manner do I go forward.  This is where most people would go back to school, or get a teacher.  I'm convinced this is not my path.  Part of the development I need to do is crafting my unique sound and compositional style further - carving away the excess.  I've had an improvisatory relationship to technical development for a long time, and I think there is immense benefit in this approach.  There are limits too, but all the techniques and guides of the past are open to me in the form of sheet music, so I can fuse the two.

I also need to invest a significant amount of time into developing better leadership/organizational skills and responsibilities.  I think this is an area I've held myself back in a lot, and I think I could have gone so much further than where I am now.  I also think I need to reach out to others more.  This is something I have stopped doing & I think it will be essential in continuing to be able to do this as a profession.

I have very good luck/serendipity/etc., but I can't rely on that.

Tales From The Road #2 - Here I am ... On the Road Again... (Steampunk World's Fair 2012 Report)

So my life lately has been taken over by Steampunk ... this is a very good thing!

Recently that has meant:
Dorian's Parlor
Watch City
Steampunk World's Fair

Dorian's Parlor: I am the house musician.  There is general awesomeness.

Watch City: A cool outdoor event with a strong historical aspect to it, as well as cool vendors, musicians & panels!  Some things could have been organized better, but all in all, a very cool event.

Steampunk World's Fair: What an experience!!

I'd been looking forward to World's Fair for a long time ... and especially so since Wicked Winter Renessaince Faire (Wicked Faire), which was basically comparable to a religious experience for me (the culmination of which was seeing Ego Likeness)

Steampunk World's Fair was wicked and more ... there were many moments of epicness.  I had sets with Eli August and Psyche Corporation, and saturday night, I got to participate in the most epic parking lot jam with Painless Parker, This Way to the Egress, Magpie Kiljoy (of Steampunk Magazine), other members of Eli's band. and of course Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band, who we met across the parking lot in Showdown Style.

I largely missed the panels I wanted to go to (though I did get to catch one of Mark Donelly's panels on archery) ... particularly I'd been hoping to catch Victorian Sexuality, and Steampunk Emma Goldman, and Jaymee Goh's panels... only so much time in the day though!

Anyway, here are some cool photos from the epicness. Please note: None of these photos were taken by me - they were all publicly posted on FB.

From the 2nd Psyche Corp. Set

"Pound Your Bones Onto the Table..." The beginning of the epic parking lot jam

Bass Lady - Britney Frompovich, who I discovered by accident when she was playing beautiful music in a vendor's room

Shhh, it's a secret

Jamming with Levi Ali (on percussion) .. out of site are the dancers from The Cavalcade of Fancy Ladies

From the first Psyche Corp set ... not so sure the goggles are my look, but damn do I *love* blue lighting

Open door rehearsal for Eli August and the Abandoned Buildings ... first time we'd all met each other!

More rehearsing

Eli August in action ... also Robare Pruyn-Bush on Clarinet, and Elliot Peeples on Floor Tom

Mike Darnell - the bass player for Eli August

Moving Forward

For the last year or so, I've sort of been struggling with what to do with this blog... When I first started out, it was intense, deep thinking about cello technique & playing, and talking about artists I really enjoyed seeing live ... and part of me misses that, and wants to include it more ... on the other hand, I've largely figured out the "how-to" of cello playing (even if I need to practice a lot more), and I've become a *lot* more active as a performer (specifically in the steampunk scene).  One side effect of this is that most of the music I see these days is through that scene (or other people I'm performing with), and I don't want to necessarily be publicly critical about people I'm working with/around ... I've also been struggling with this Wandering Cellist identity, and the fact that I play in a billion groups & do solo stuff & how that all fits together ... And I've got active fb, twitter, emailing, 2nd blog, LJ, and social/intellectual/romantic components to life that take up lots of time ...

In short, I moved to NYC about a year ago, became involved in the steampunk scene & many other cool things, and didn't know what capacity to translate that too in a blog and/or on the web in general... so now I've realized the point is everything ... everything I do is united under The Wandering Cellist ... this blog will reflect that!

Onward...

This Bothers Me

Someone posted this on facebook: http://www.fastcompany.com/1718250/keith-jarrett-save-your-soul-turn-off-your-gadget

The only justification I can see for asking people not to take pictures (besides that some artists are apparently so temperamental that it deeply disturbs them) is that taking pictures interferes with the experience process ... which I think in some ways is a good point...

On the other hand, what I really don't understand:
1. Why is information technology always The Enemy (I mean look at all of us learning languages, and using them as practice tools, and making videos & creating new things constantly with them)
2. Why are classical musicians so bent on controlling audience experience and behavior (aside from acoustic considerations)

Is there an argument for specialization over generalization - hell yes! Does this need to villify information technology? no!

I think it's great to question & challenge IT, I just really wish it would be done in a more balanced & mature way


I don't think that people having their own limits/structure on use of IT is a bad thing (quite the opposite), but everytime I heard about something like this from classical musicians, I just feel like they're being big babies, and it just adds to the list of reasons I don't consider myself a classical musician (even though I sometimes play classical music professionally)

(Isn't it ironic that the author's point is being further made through a blog?)


Hopefully in the near future I'll write about cello and teaching & performing & stuff ... I've been super busy performing & getting away from performing over the last few months ... it's a good thing :)

Experiences at the Cello Madness Congress NYC Pt.1

2 nights of the last 2 weeks were really special for me. Cello Joe hosted an event known as the Cello Madness Congress in NYC. First in Brooklyn, then in Manhattan.

Basically, the way I describe it to people is: "take all the cellists who do really weird stuff in New York & put them all in a room together for 4 hours" ... and that's basically what it was ... but so much more.

Brooklyn:


The Brooklyn event was held in a loft apartment with a nice open space. I think about 13 cellists showed up & maybe 20-30 people or so to watch us. There were snacks & beer & it was an awesome night. I was the first cellist there (besides Joe) & one by one, people wandered in, we introduced ourselves to each other, chatted it up with the audience, figured out how to arrange the room, etc.

Eventually, we got started & began with a group twist on the C scale. Each person started at a different part of the scale (Root, 3rd or 5th) .. it made for a very cool sound. After that, we did a bit of group improv & the rest of the night, alternated group improvisation games with solo sets. The solo sets were really amazing & eye opening in a lot of ways. It was great to see such a high level of playing, as well as such a variety of different kinds of original music. Here's a glimpse of who did what:

CelloJoe (Joey Chang) - beatboxing cellist
http://CelloJoe.com/

Valerie Kuehne - cross-polinating sundry genres
http://www.myspace.com/valeriekuehne

Cosmo D (Greg Heffernan) - electro cello techno loop genius
http://cosmod.net/

Michael Lunapeina - the wandering cellist - rock/metal
http://cellomike.com/

Elizabeth Glushko - electronics and looping.
http://www.myspace.com/egcello

Nick Jozwiak - fascinating composer, throat sings while he plays
soundcloud.com/nicholas-jozwiak

Jacob Cohen - melodic improv inspired by hip hop
http://soundcloud.com/jacob-cello

Meaghan Burke - songstress
http://www.reverbnation.com/meaghanburke


There was also a guest appearance by Quetzacoatl via the form of a Giant Puppet & courtesy of http://GiantPuppetsSaveTheWorld.com

I sadly didn't get any video, but here are some pictures (Taken by Sean Hagerty)...

Stay tuned for part 2!

How to Fit Myself Into A Box

I hate the Bio/Resume that I have right now ... I feel like it doesn't represent me/the me I want to be... but I also don't know how to write Me ... I'm messy and confusing... and I don't really fit into the traditional or non-traditional box...

I/I'm:
Classically Trained (but much less than classical people)
Play in Community Orchestras (but not a lot)
Have done a crapton of musical theatre
Improvise & write music like a songwriter
Play in the Subways
Play in as many as 4 or 5 rock bands that are somewhat successful that most people have never heard of & are not a part of any mainstream music genres
Have little to no interest in being more "in the box" or going to grad school or taking lessons, because I want to make my own path creating music that I really love that is deeply meaningful to me.
Play a live set that involves half covers & half original music
Do everything from playing weddings to pits to religious services to rock bands to (very occasional) classical gigs to recording sessions
I started cello at age 16 (but does that matter?)
I write cool music in GarageBand on keyboard & sort of just have no clue what to do with it...

I guess really what I'm torn between is I want to represent myself as the Cellist/Songwriter, but most of my work is in the teaching & freelance musician world & I feel like it's talking to two different sets of people with completely different interests ... It's another stupid tug of war inside...

This post has given me some ideas...

Edit: I've now got a different bio up .. I don't think it's done yet ... I realized part of the problem is that I'm trying to serve 2 different masters with this bio ... I need a Me bio & a teaching bio & a resume ... 1 down, 2 to go...

Tales From The Road #1 - Playing at the Bean Runner Cafe

Last night I played for the 12th Artist Appreciation Show at Bean Runner Cafe. It was a really cool experience!!

I live in Brooklyn/NYC & absolutely love it! Because of that, one of my favorite things is getting out of NYC. No matter where I've gone, every time I get out of NYC, people seem a bit happier & more wholesome, less stressed and jaded. It's really encouraging.

Peekskill was no exception. What a charming little town (at least the part I got to explore was). Everyone's friendly & there's lots of book stores & cafes & antique stores & all in a small area. My favorite part of it was exploring Bruised Apple Books - a very awesome used books store! I picked up a copy of The Complete Works of Nathaniel Hawthorne & of "Gig" - a book with firsthand accounts of jobs across the entire spectrum of America.




Anyway, on to Bean Runner ... Bean Runner is a nice cafe ... a little fancy, but not in an off-putting way (just in an everything looks pleasing sort of way) with nice staff. I had the pleasure of performing to a full Cafe of people who were there for & actively paying attention to the music. I also had the pleasure of playing with other artists who were original & whose art was very awesome in their own way.

In NYC this sort of thing doesn't happen a lot ... music almost always feels like a secondary focus, even when people come to shows ... there is little sense of community, or artists supporting each other, of people sticking around for other bands' sets because they actively are pleased to do so. I think it's a result of oversaturation & stressful, busy lives.

Whatever it is, it's always beautiful to get away from that.

For me the most beautiful moment was unexpectedly joining motivational spoken word artist Christ Is during his set. Playing the melody from Tool's Parabol, along with my own "beats" behind his spoken art that dealt with some of the grittier, harder aspects of life while still being uplifting was really truly inspirational & powerful.

It's amazing what happens when you put two things together that you wouldn't normally expect to go together. Words & Music compliment each other in a really deep way.